I’m proud to present the first in a new two hundred part series, “How David Wain Would Do It”
Inspired by meeting many fans sporting HDWWDI necklaces, I thought I’d take the mystery out and just tell you how I’d go about doing 200 things.

Here’s number 1:

If I wanted to give Jellybean Benitez a Broomstick,

here’s how I’d do it

in 10 steps:

1) Look up J.B. on Wikipedia, remind myself who he is.

2) Ask all my friends and family if they have any connection to J.B.

3) Assuming someone at least knows a friend of his, contact the friend via email.

4) Using charming and self-deprecating jokes, work the friend until I get Jellybean’s phone number.

5) Call Jellybean, introduce myself, then ask to meet at a Starbucks. Remember to specify which one – they’re practically on every corner.

6) Buy a straw broom and a scissors at Target.

7) Use the scissors to cut the top off so just the Broomstick is left. Use the straw for making  mini-haystacks. (Good for electric trains that simulate rural environments).

8 ) Go to Starbucks, get a coffee.

9) Wait for J.B., play Tetris on my Mac SE/30

10) When he comes in, shake hands, firmly give him the broomstick, smile, make eye contact, don’t waste too much of his time, leave

P.S. Film people – you’re too late.  The project is already set up at Fine Line Features. Glen Hansard directing with an April start.  We’re in talks with Bon Tarker to star as “Rildo”