David Wain BLOG back to davidwain.com

I made a tweet (a.k.a. I farted)

June 29, 2009 | General

So I asked my Twitter followers for their favorite food, and promised I’d take the first twelve (no more no less) to create an brand new recipe, calling on my skills as an award winning chef. I hope you will get a chance to recreate this in your own kitchen, as visitors to my home have been cooing all day over these divine bites of goodness.

Yummy Twitter Treats
This is a great recipe to try any time you have a hungry group that is up for a good time.

2 hamburgers (with lettuce, cheese, tomato, ketchup, on soft buns)
2 beef soft tacos
1 bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal
1 slice of beef pie
1 slice French toast
2 chicken burritos
1 large serving meat lasagna
6 steamed shrimp dumplings
4 strips bacon, uncooked
Live giant eel
yogurt, granola, bananas – pureed
9 mini avocado rolls

First make sure the cereal is in a ceramic bowl with whole or 2 percent (not skim!) milk.

Open up one the hamburgers and place the beef pie on top of the patty, giving it double beef flavor. Now take this assembly and place it in the middle of the other hamburger – now you have a very large ungainly beef-pie hamburger. Set this aside, we’ll be using it later for the sauce.

Put the beef soft tacos in a preheated (400 degrees) oven until they melt beyond recognition, then pour the resulting mass over the shrimp dumplings, in a baking pan. Use the chicken burritos as rolling pins to flatten out dumpling/tacos then press the burritos into the mixture. Let stand 5 minutes.

Cook the bacon on a double-touch grill (George Foreman, etc.), drizzling the pureed yogurt/granola/banana mixture on it throughout. Keep the grill on and carefully shove the lasagna in there without lifting the lid. If food squeezes out the sides of the grill, catch it in your hands (warning, will be hot) and shove it back in the front.

Now take out the grilled mass and daintily lay it on the French toast. Surround this with the avocado rolls, placed in a circle. Now take the taco/dumbling/burrito mass and dice into sticky cubes, which are then sprinkled generously on the yogurt/banana/lasanga/granola/bacon mixture.

Now take the hamburger/beef pie and put in food processor, high speed, for 30 seconds. Pour this delicious meaty sauce on top of the cubes, for an extra flavor boost.

Finally take the live giant eel and slice him (live) down the middle. Careful he will squirm. Once cut in half he’ll eventually die. At this point squeeze each half like a lemon, letting the eel juice lightly accent the hamburger/taco/beef pie/french toast/burrito/lasagna/dumpling/bacon/yogurt/granola/banana/avacaco roll preparation.

Finally for a sweet crunchy contrast, dig a hole in the middle of everything with a spoon, then carefully pour the Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal (which hopefully has now softened slightly in the milk) down that whole.

Slice like a pizza and enjoy. Serves 11.

Viola, and bon appetite!