Advice To the Man Who’s Just Had His Head Cut Off

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First of all, just relax. If you move around a lot, you’re likely going to die a lot sooner. The first thing you must be thinking is, “I’m upset! I’ve just had my head cut off, I’m going to die in a matter of seconds!” And yes, that’s true. But how you SPEND those seconds– that’s completely up to you. You can natter on about your lot in life and doesn’t it suck that your head’s been cut off, OR you can take the time you DO have left to:
–take up a new hobby (something easy and quick to learn, which only involves your head in a basket, like for example eye-rolling)
–reconnect with friends and family
–catch up on movies or TV shows you might have missed.

Attitude is EVERYTHING. I’m going to keep this short because if you have had your head cut off, by the time you get to this sentence, you will be long dead.

Best of luck and do email me to tell me how it goes.

50 thoughts on “Advice To the Man Who’s Just Had His Head Cut Off”

  2. if this ever happens to me i’ll just pop in the wet hot american summer DVD so that way i can have a good laugh before i die. but really, dying by your head being chopped off would be a very odd way to die indeed.

    oh and happy belated hannuka!

  3. If I ever accidentally (or even intentionally) have my head cut off I think the FIRST thing I’d do would be call Teena, my pedicurist, because who wants to die with an unexfoliated sole? Not me.

  4. What about the woman whos head is cut off? Do they have more time cause they lose less cause their brain is not quite as powerful? Or would they have less time, would they?

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