10) ALARM CLOCK – it’s like, “don’t want to be late” and all that good stuff.
9) A GOOD BOOK I love the written word. Nothing like curling up with a good book. Sometimes I’ll be reading at night, before bed, and my eyes get tired and next thing you know, I’m out like a light! I’m so embarrassed to admit it, but… well, this is the internet, gotta be truthful! 
EARPLUGS – can you say “construction”?
7) CUP OF TEA – who wants to go to the kitchen at 4 a.m. when you need some tea?
6) GUN
5) MUSHROOMS – the psychedelic kind, usually from Hawaii. At least two pounds.
4) VICTORIA’S SECRET CATALOG – just in case I want to order something nice for my special “someone”.
3) NOVA LOX – on a platter
2) TIT CREAM
1) CELL PHONE
Monthly Archives: June 2006
Thoughts on Britney
From “Best Week Ever”
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Superman
I have an issue with Superman.
I mean with this guy, it’s like, “forget about it!” First of all – he’s strong. Plus the super powers. And he’s famous. Fuggedabuttit. It’s like, “dude – you must just walk into any singles bar and SWEEP up the snatch.” If I was him I’d put steel thimbles on my thumb and fingertips, and use them to manually stimulate two girls at once. In any case – what’s the deal with the big chest? Do you, like, bench all day long OR WHAT? And what time do you do it? 8? 9? 10? 11? Give me at least an idea here. 12? 1? 2? Can you even tell me with in an hour? 2 hours? 3 hours? Okay I’m gonna go for it: SIX HOURS? Can you tell me what time of day you bench-press within SIX HOURS? Let’s see your “X-ray vision” help you with this one, Super”bad”man! Sorry that was below the belt. But you just make me SO MAD. Still I should not have slung that name (Super”Bad”man) on you. It was below the belt, it was thoughtless and it was wrong. And if there was any way I could erase it from this online journal, I would. But I can’t. Can we be friends? Want to hang out in bed with me? We could talk and touch and read.