Hey I went on a surreal food tour on the outter reaches of New York City – chronicled on Gawker

So I gotta make this one QUICK. I’m up, up, up and out!! My morning routine: Open my eyes, write down dreams (Today I dreamt that I was host of a sports talk show where the running joke was that we were always teasing that the cast of “All in the family” was going to be joining us when in fact that was never going to be the case.) Then I fill the bowl till it overflows with poop stored up from the night. Make some oatmeal, drink some tea, egg it up, egg it down, poop it out, shower, powder. Then I rock about 3/4 of the Ashtanga primary series, feed the cat, choose an outfit, grab my wallet, keys, gun and hit the road. Wait – now I’m outside, on the street, and I FORGOT TO PUT ON MY BELT! Holy mother of destiny – lady luck has left me at the altar again. More later on what went down on this CRAZY DAY. Until then, check THIS out.

This article is facinating and worth taking the time to read! I promise the next post will be funny and inconsequential.