Couple of New Jokes For You

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1) Have you been to LaGuardia Airport lately? They have Hertz, Avis, Alamo, National, Budget… you know what? It’d be easier to list the rental car companies that are NOT represented at LaGuardia!! That’s how many there are. It’s an embarrasment of riches!

2) There was a yellow taxi cab and also a yellow school bus I saw today. What is this? Is every vehicle yelow? Maybe we should rename today “Yellow Car (and Bus) Round-up!!”

15 thoughts on “Couple of New Jokes For You”

  3. Don’t you get it? Taxis are the yellow vehicles that you pay a non-English speaking person to let you ride in, and busses are the yellow vehicles that you pay taxes for non-English speaking children to ride in.
    Duhh….

  5. oh. oh. that’s nothing! today i saw a guy on a bicycle, next to a kid on a bicycle! and they were both wearing helmets! oh my god, i almost DIED.

  6. this isn’t a joke… but i just stepped on a rusty condom….. do you think i should get a cooties shot? i mean, i know im gonna have to tell my girlfriend, but i want to know if i have cooties first…. you know… it wouldnt be good to shake things up if i didnt have the coot

  7. Brandon- it all depends on whether the rusty condom went up your ass or not- you just can’t be to careful these days… especially if someone on a bus threw it out the window.

  9. You go to get a balance inquiry, and instead of printing out a receipt the screen says: “Not worth wasting paper”, and ejects your card. You try to get a balance inquiry, and the screen says: “Account not found.” and keeps your card.
    You insert your card, and try to get some cash, and the ATM laughs and spits out your shredded card.
    You withdraw some money to pay some bills, count it, and the screen says: “What, you thought there was some EXTRA there? HA!”, and ejects your card clear across the room.
    You think you’ve got $100 in your account and go to take out $50, and the screen says: “Not in this lifetime.” and laughs as you bang on the machine, trying desperately to get your card back that the machine has taken.
    You go to the ATM, and there’s a picture of you a-la-”Most Wanted” staring forlornly at the ATM camera with a caption that reads: “Wanted for trying to get water from a dry well.”
    —--——–
    Bankers do it risk-free.
    Bankers do it just for money.
    Bankers charge a fee each time they do it.
    Bankers do it with varying rates of interest.
    Bankers do it with a penalty for early withdrawal.